I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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