I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
