Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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