is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize