It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
