I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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