HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
