Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
