Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
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So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
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some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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