a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize