Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
