just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
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