I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
