i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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