therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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