im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
