this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
