Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize