I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
