You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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