marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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