I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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