The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
