Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
