The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
