ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
