i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
