Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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