She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
