What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
