I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
