Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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