I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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