my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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