Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
