So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
