I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize