So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
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seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
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He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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