just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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