its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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