I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
