Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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