you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
