I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
