Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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