how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
