I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
