just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
