So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Found the puke drawer
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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