Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
