if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
