I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Is it penis luge time yet?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
