There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
