i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
