All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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