We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
