her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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