I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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